The continuous tapping on his desk wasn’t bothering him. In fact he wasn’t even noticing it. The rhythmic tap of his fingernails against the desk top was only a background noise. He didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention to it. The roar of the engines of the cars driving to and fro on the street outside was merely a buzz he barely registered was there. It was rush hour and the streets were noisy. The blaring of the TV wasn’t even being registered as something that was actually present. Currently an overplayed pop song was playing and he faintly murmured the lyrics. But if you’d asked him an hour later he wouldn’t have remembered that the song had even been playing, let alone that he was singing it.
There was one thing on his mind and one thing only.
Alison and her sea green sparkling eyes.
Alison and her curly brown hair blowing in the wind, smiling at him.
Alison and her petite physique, her arms wrapped around his waist.
Alison and her cute little laugh, which was music to his ears even though she didn’t like it herself.
Alison and her gorgeous smile.
Alison and all the hidden emotions she conveyed and that he could decipher because he’d known her for so long.
Alison and the air of mystique that surrounded her.
Alison and the fact that he couldn’t reach her heart.
Matt leaned back in his chair, letting out a tired sigh. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, trying to shoo away the headache he felt was coming on. He had been thinking for too long. It was tiring. But she would never leave his thoughts. One way or another she would turn up. Whatever he thought about he was somehow able to find a connecting point to Alison. He opened his eyes and stared at the wall in front of him. Whether he would admit it or not he knew. He was crazy about her.
“And I remember the night you said,
'Let's go for a ride.'
I didn’t want the night to end.
Would we be more than friends?
Yet little did I know before, we would be something more.”
He was suddenly aware of the different melody that was playing. The song seemed to be at its chorus. He took the lyrics in and a lopsided smile painted itself on his face. How songs can sometimes describe your situation perfectly! This was one of those times.
He got up from his desk and grabbed the jacket that he had left on the chair. He had made plans with Alison and a group of friends for tonight. He didn’t feel like going much, but just the thought that Alison was going to be there was enough for him to decide to go.
Matt grabbed the phone from his desk and shoved it in his pocket, grabbing the TV remote and turning the TV off. The room descended into darkness as he turned the lights off and jogged down the stairs.
"Mom! Dad! I’m leaving!" he called out from the hallway. After getting their approval he walked out of the house and strode over to his car. He unlocked the car and opened the car door. He got in and started the ignition. The car roared to life. Minutes later he was on the road, driving to the designated location. It was a small club at the center of town. They were having an open party tonight. Nothing fancy, really. But that particular club always seemed the most fun anyway. Perhaps it was the intimacy it gave its guests. Or maybe the simplicity of it. Matt didn’t care. The reason why he ever went there was to have fun and if that was where fun was found that was where he would go.
He parked the car on a nearby parking lot and walked the five minutes that it took to get to the club. It turned out that he was running a few minutes late, because most of his friends were already there, waiting for him at the entrance. Including Alison.
As he looked at her his breath hitched. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a bright red dress that ran down to just above her knee. It was kind of flowing at the bottom, but tight at the top. She wasn’t wearing heels. Only ballet flats that matched the color of the dress. Her hair fell down in unruly curls, but that was the way he had always liked it. It wasn’t that he didn’t find her pretty when she straightened her hair, but he liked the natural look. She was beautiful in every way to him and he didn’t need her to use make up to prove that she was attractive.
She caught sight of him and green locked with hazel. Her lips curved into a happy smile and she waved to him. He hastened his pace in order to reach her faster.
"Matt!" she called out, flinging her arms around him.
He took her in his embrace, hoping that their closeness didn’t reveal the fact that his heart was racing inside his chest. He could literary feel butterflies fluttering their wings all over his body. But it wasn’t that he didn’t like the feeling. It felt amazing. Just as everything and anything felt when he was with her.
After a few seconds she let go of him and took a step back. He couldn’t help but feel a bit of disappointed when she did so. But he didn’t let his smile waver.
"How are you?" she asked, a cheerful air surrounding her.
"I’m great." He wasn’t lying. He felt great. He always felt great in her presence. "How about you?"
"I’m good. A bit cold. Can we go inside?"
He nodded and motioned to the rest of their group. He offered her his jacket, but she shook her head, politely declining his request. When they entered the club the party was already at full swing. The music was blasting from the speakers, literary shaking the walls. People were dancing on the dance floor and everyone seemed to be having a good time.
Matt tried to blend in with the atmosphere. He was succeeding. On the surface. Deep down inside something was bothering him. And he knew exactly what it was. He had known it all day. He knew exactly what it was that he had to do. He had to tell her.
At one point of the evening Alison asked him if he wanted to come outside with her, because she was scared to go alone, but she needed some air. He agreed to come out with her. Once they were out he noticed that she was slightly shivering, so he offered her his jacket again. This time she accepted the offer. She gracefully put it on and he couldn’t help but find the fact of how big it looked on her cute. He smiled to himself as he looked at her. She tugged at the sleeves of the jacket, pulling them down over her hands. Matt pulled her closer to him.
"Better?" he asked.
"Better." she nodded, putting her head on his shoulder.
They stayed like that in silence for a while, watching the world go by in front of them. But then Matt felt like it was time to speak up. He’d been waiting ages to say this. It was now or never. He knew that he had to gather the courage and tell her.
"Alison," he started tentatively.
"Hm?" she hummed, still keeping her head on his shoulder and not turning toward him.
Matt felt his heart rate quicken and suddenly he felt the urge to back out and not say anything. But he was determined not to back down.
"I need to tell you something." he said tersely.
"Sure." she answered, not suspecting a thing.
Matt opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. It was as if his voice had been taken away from him. What was going on with him? He had never been like this. This girl had him turned upside down. He’d never quite felt like this about anyone. Ever. This whole experience was new and frightening to him. In all honesty, he’d never been in love. Was this what being in love felt like?
"I like you." he suddenly blurted out. And that’s when the words started tumbling out of his mouth like a tidal wave and he could do nothing to stop himself from telling her everything. "Ever since the first moment I met you I’ve had a crush on you. And I guess that crush progressed and I started having deeper feelings for you. I’ve never had the courage to tell you. I guess I was scared of rejection. But tonight I decided that you had the right to know. I honestly don’t know how to tell you this. But, Alison, I’m in love with you." He finished his little speech and took a breath, because he’d been speaking too fast.
Alison’s body suddenly grew tense and rigid. For a few seconds she didn’t speak or move. And then as if coming back to reality she pulled away from him and turned to look at him. He couldn’t decipher her face expression in the dim lighting. But he was sure that he saw panic written all over it. And he wasn’t sure why. Why would she react like that?
"No." she suddenly blurted out. To say that he was shocked was an understatement. He had always been sure that she shared at least a bit of his feelings. He got that sort of vibe from her.
"But I do. I know that I’m in love with you." he said, misunderstanding the meaning of her words. He thoughts that she was questioning his feelings for her.
She shook her head. “No. You don’t understand.” She tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear nervously and looked up at him, hazel meeting green again. Alison seemed to be contemplating on what to say. But what she gave as an explanation to him seemed as confusing as ever. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I just- I can’t, Matt.” She quickly took his jacket off and thrust it at him. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” And with that she rushed back into the club, leaving Matt alone in the misty night air. He stared back at her retreating figure, not being able to wrap his head around what had just happened. Going to find her was useless. Not when he was so confused and she was so panicked.
Not feeling up for a party right now, he got his phone out from his pocket and texted one of his friends that he was leaving early using the excuse that he was tired. He slid the phone back into his pocket and put his jacket on. Without another word to anyone of his group of friends he set off for home.
Matt was well aware of the buzzing outside his window. He could hear it clearly, but he kept his eyes closed, hoping that if they were closed the sound wouldn’t take him out of his blissful slumber and jerk him awake. After a few minutes he gave up and opened his eyes, taking his surroundings in. He groaned and raised himself to a sitting positing. Glancing at the digital clock on his bed-stand, he shoved the blankets away. It was 9 AM in the morning. On a Sunday. How nice. He had wanted to sleep in, but his neighbours had chosen to renovate the house on this lovely day.
With a sigh, he got up from bed. But he accidentally knocked his phone off the bed-stand causing it to fall to the floor. Cursing, he bent down and picked it up. He pressed the home button to see if the phone was okay after the descent to the ground and the screen lit up to show that he had one unread message. The name of the sender caused him to take a short surprised intake of breath.
Quickly unlocking the phone, he opened the message.
Ally <3: We need to talk. Can we meet up?
With shaky fingers Matt typed out his reply. The message had been sent only minutes ago.
Yes. You can come over if you want. I’m home alone today. We’ll have some privacy.
Moments later his phone beeped with a reply.
Ally <3: I’ll be over in 15 minutes.
His heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t expected her to be so insistent. It was obvious that she had something serious to say. He just hoped that he hadn’t ruined their friendship.
After 10 minutes of pacing in his room the doorbell resounded. He jumped at the sound of it. She was early.
With a heavy heart he descended the stairs. He wasn’t feeling too positive at the outcome of this talk. If only he hadn’t told her last night. Losing their friendship wasn’t something he was planning on. The truth was that he liked having Alison as a friend too. Yes, he did have feelings for her, but if she would have him as a friend only he would take it. He would take every chance he got with her.
He opened the door to reveal a serious looking Alison. He greeted her awkwardly and she did the same before she entered the house. The thing he noticed what that she didn’t give him a hug. She always gave him a hug when she saw him. Not that he was expecting one after her reaction last night.
They both sat down on the couch in the living room and an uncomfortable silence enveloped the room. Alison was sitting very straight, not looking at him. But she wasn’t saying anything. After her message he’d thought that she would immediately plunge into a speech. But she didn’t do so. She stayed oddly quiet as if trying to find non-existent words that would help clear the situation up.
"Matt," she finally said, causing Matt’s eyes to anxiously dart to her. "We need to talk about last night."
"Look, I’m sorry." he said quickly. "I didn’t mean to be so forward. I guess I thought that…" he paused for a moment, but Alison didn’t interrupt him. She only waited patiently for him to finish. Gathering up his courage he began speaking again, "I guess I thought that you shared my feelings. That was the kind of vibe I was getting from you. But I guess I was wrong. But that’s okay. We don’t have to stop being friends over a silly misunderstanding like that. Just forget about it, okay?"
"I can’t." she answered, looking into his eyes. "Because me not feeling the same way about you is not the problem. You having feelings for me is the problem."
Matt looked at her quizzically. He couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of her words.
"What do you mean?" he finally asked after a few seconds of silence.
Alison looked down at her feet and scuffed the carpet nervously with her ballet flats. “I can’t be with you.” she said softly. She didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds and Matt felt the need to say something.
"Why not?" he asked. He knew that that probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but he couldn’t help but wonder. "Why can’t you be with me?"
"Because eventually you’ll want to leave. You’ll get bored and you’ll leave. Like every other guy out there, you’ll get bored."
The words caught Matt off guard. To say that he was surprised was an understatement. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t believe that she thought that about him. He’d known her for five years now. And for five years he had been in love with her. The only person he wanted to be with was her. And the fact that she thought that he wasn’t capable to love her hurt him.
"I wouldn’t." he said simply.
She turned toward him, meeting his gaze. “Yes, you would.” she answered stubbornly.
Matt sighed and got up from the couch. Alison eyed his movements curiously. He sat down again, but close to her this time. They had been sitting at opposite ends of the couch, but now he positioned himself right next to her. He put his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her toward him so that she was facing him.
"Alison, how long have I known you?" he asked her.
She looked confused for a split second, but answered promptly anyway. “You’ve known me for five years.”
"Have I had a girlfriend during that time?"
"No." She shook her head.
"Do you know why that is?"
She shook her head again.
"It’s because I meant what I said last night. I’ve been in love with you ever since the first moment I saw you."
She only looked at him, saying nothing.
"Look, I know you’re scared." Matt consoled her. "Maybe you haven’t had the greatest experiences with boys. But how is that you know that this…" He pointed to himself and then to her. "Isn’t going to work out?"
She seemed at a loss for words. “I don’t. But-“
"You don’t want to risk it." he finished for her. "But the best things in life come from taking risks. And how will you ever know if you don’t take the risk? You could miss out on something wonderful. And even if you didn’t, you’d still be wondering your entire life if the decision you made was the right one."
He stopped for a second and looked into her jade green eyes. “I’m not forcing you into anything. I’m just trying to tell you that when I told you that I was in love with I was being sincere. I wasn’t lying to you. I would never lie to you. I promise.”
She looked away. “I just don’t want to get hurt, you know?” she said quietly.
"Alison, I would never hurt you." Matt said tenderly. "And if I did I give you the permission to slap senseless because I would have been an idiot to do so."
She giggled at his comment, turning back toward him. She looked deep into his bright hazel eyes before speaking again.
"We can give it a try." she agreed.
Matt smiled. “Can we?”
"We can." she repeated. Up until this moment Matt hadn’t noticed that she had been inching closer and closer to him. She was so close to him now that their breath intermingled. He felt his skin tingling, because even though he had been close to her lots of time he had never kissed her. He had thought about kissing her, but it had never actually happened.
Not being able to bear it any longer he closed the gap of a few millimeters that was between them. Their lips connected and it felt magical. This was the moment. Their moment.
Surprisingly, Alison didn’t seem tense at all. She melted into the kiss, taking every detail in. It was as if she had always wanted to do this too. And Matt was happy about that. He was happy that he finally got the girl he had wanted for so long. He knew that they would make it work. They somehow fit together. Like two lost pieces of a puzzle they had found each other.
While they were still locked in each other’s embrace Matt heard a familiar tune in the background. He had almost forgotten that he had left the TV on. A familiar song was playing softly. It was the song that had been playing the day before.
“And I remember the night you said,
'Let's go for a ride.'
I didn’t want the night to end.
Would we be more than friends?
Yet little did I know before, we would be something more.”
He couldn’t help but smile mid-kiss. Little did he know before, they’d be something more.
I am so sorry I am this late. I had to take a little (Okay, not a little. A lot more than that.) hiatus, because of school. But I’m here now and I’ll try and post a lot more. I hope you like this One Shot! Request in my Inbox! :)